When Women Do the Work of our Oppressors For Us.
When Women Do the Work of our Oppressors For Us.
Disappointment.
“Self-hating women,” “anti-feminist women,” “traditional women,” these are all term variants for the bizarre phenomenon of women with internalized sexism. What is internalized sexism? I’m glad you asked. It’s a lot of things. A pretty widely accepted definition though, is a form of sexist behavior and attitudes enacted by women toward themselves or other women and girls. It is a form of internalized oppression, which “consists of oppressive practices that continue to make the rounds even when members of the oppressor group are not present.”
Internalized sexism can have a range of effects on women and girls such as problems with mental health and body image and has the potential to lead to body issues and a lack of self-confidence. Not only is it a major setback in resolving issues of sexism as a whole, but ties to psychological distress such as anxiety and depression have been identified as results of internalized sexism. Connections between sexual objectification, body shame and disordered eating have all been found in studies, as well as lowered academic goals and diminished job performance. Experiencing prejudice and discrimination has been found to result in a wide range of negative mental health and well-being outcomes, and influence dynamics within romantic relationships.
Sometimes, internalized sexism can be misogyny, which is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. Women who experience internalized misogyny may express it through minimizing the value of women, mistrusting women, and showing gender bias in favor of men. Internalized misogyny may manifest differently depending on one’s social and political identities; for instance, internalized misogynoir has been identified as a type of internalized oppression which results from the combination of internalized racism and internalized misogyny. Similarly, lesbians may face the combined effects of internalized misogyny and internalized homophobia as a result of their intersectional identities.
Which brings us to another form of internalized oppression: internalized heterosexism. This is generally defined as the internalization of assumptions, negative attitudes and stigma regarding homosexuality by individuals who do not identify within the heteronormative spectrum and/or are categorized as sexual minorities to varying degrees. It’s a manifestation of internalized sexism that primarily affects sexual minority (LGBTQIA+) however, it can also affect heterosexual populations by dictating how they interact with and relate to non-heterosexual people. This phenomenon manifests when sexual minorities begin to adopt rigid heteronormative values into their worldviews.
Toxic femininity and tradwives are other heads on this same internalized sexism hydra. Often found in early childhood inculturation, internalized misogyny is learned in tandem with female socialization. The idea that young girls are taught to act and behave differently than their male counterparts are the same societal and behavioral standards thought to be spread through exposure in the media, which reflects the standards of the society that it serves to inform and entertain.
Differences in communication across genders is influenced by internalized sexism. The main target of internalized sexism are predominantly women who are regarded as inferior. In everyday conversation, women are scrutinized by objectification, called derogatory terms, or invalidated not just by men, but other women as well. Other forms of language use toward women include the use of derogatory terms, such as “bitch,” “slut,” and “hoe,” as forms of invalidation. These terms are used as a form of gender role policing for women who defy gender norms or hold more assertive and vocal qualities. The latter two in particular is an example of slut-shaming, which, either consciously or unconsciously, is prevalent in discussions surrounding women. These conversational practices objectify, invalidate and perpetuate internalized sexism.
There are significant differences in language use between genders as well, which can act as a moderator of the maintenance of power imbalance between groups. Derogation and criticism perpetuate social stigma, which become internalized by those affected. They become critical of themselves and members of their own gender or diminish their own voices. This is known as horizontal oppression, influenced by systematic invalidation and internal dynamics of internalized sexism.
In her 2020 dissertation “Women’s Experiences of Internalized Sexism,” Syeda Farzana Rahmani, MA, writes:
Given the pervasive nature of patriarchy in the dominant culture, there is much pressure to cope with sexism through internalization. . .Patriarchy is the system designed to position men at the top of the societal hierarchy. This system is upheld through mechanisms of sexism and misogyny in which women are devalued in comparison to men. These beliefs and behaviors encourage and ensure power is maintained by men. The idea that women are inferior often justifies inequality, hostility, and violence as permissible toward girls and women. As a result, girls and women are diminished and degraded in a variety of ways. When these ideas go unaddressed, the support and even encouragement for gender disparities become vast and apparent. Misogynistic and patriarchal culture cooperate to create systems and individuals who ensure these systems stay in place to provide privileges to one group while marginalizing another.
It’s quite clear that the patriarchy enforces and rewards sexism in every aspect of our lives, be it socialization, education or workplace. People who benefit from this inequality do not want any of it changed, so it helps when members of the targeted group do the job of those oppressors for them.
Specifically, sexism prevails in a market when residents believe that women’s capacities are inferior to men, families are hurt when women work and men and women should adhere to strict roles in society.
These cultural norms are not only forces that occur to women from external sources, but they are forces that also exist within women, and are affected by where a woman is raised. A girl may grow up within a culture that prizes stay-at-home mothers over working moms, as well as early marriages and large families. Religious and political contexts are also powerful and overlapping socialization forces related to attitudes about gender and it is hypothesized that conservative religious and political affiliations support adherence to traditional, rigid gender attitudes.
I’m not here to harsh on people who make self-deprecating jokes as a means of surviving this hellscape we are all a part of. Heaven knows I make enough of these jabs in my daily life. However, the difference between everything listed above and what I say is that I intend it as a joke and it’s about myself; I do not say this stuff with the intent to speak illy of other women. This is a fairly recent thing that I have had to unlearn for the past decade or so in my journey as a leftist and a feminist. If you’re wondering if you may be inadvertently saying harmful things, here are a few tells:
Regularly making disparaging remarks about one’s own body and physical appearance.
Regularly making disparaging remarks about other women’s and girls’ body and physical appearance (body shaming).
Constantly engaging in negative social comparisons with other women and girls. Routinely viewing other women as competitors in social and family situations, especially for the attention and approval of men.
Routinely viewing other women as competitors/adversaries in professional situations, especially those who show great potential and promise, and/or those in highly visible leadership positions. (We are conditioned to view other women as competition from childhood! It’s okay if you’ve done this, it’s never too late to shift how you think about other women.)
Making self-deprecating jokes/remarks based on negative gender stereotypes (i.e., “I’m a woman, so I’m bad in math.”)
Making deprecating jokes/remarks about other women and girls based on negative gender stereotypes (i.e., “There goes another clueless female driver!”)
Actively discouraging other women and girls from realizing their dreams and fulfilling their higher potential. (Deep down, those making such remarks may be jealous of other women doing what they themselves cannot.)
Applying a double standard favoring men and boys over women and girls (i.e., in child-raising, family relations, student treatment in school, employee treatment at the workplace, customer treatment in business, etc.)
Defending, justifying, and excusing individual acts of misogyny, mistreatment, and/or abuse, either toward oneself or toward other women (learned helplessness.)
Defending, justifying, and supporting societal, institutional, political, and/or cultural bias and oppression against women (internalized oppression.) Blaming women for causing their own victimization.
I know reading through this list may be a bit shocking as in almost every form of entertainment and media we consume has sexism ingrained in it. It’s very innate, almost, and most people have to unlearn many things to combat their own internalized sexism. It’s a journey. We are imperfect. Grant yourself some grace and put in the work you can to make the future safer and more equal for women. Making the effort is already progress.
— —
Source list:
10 Signs of Internalized Sexism and Gaslighting by Preston Ni, M.S.B.A. (2020)
Women’s Experiences of Internalized Sexism by Syeda Farzana Rahmani, MA (2020)
Wikipedia
The Effects of Sexism on American Women: The Role of Norms vs. Discrimination by Kerwin Kofi Charles (2018)
Young Women’s Sexist Beliefs and Internalized Misogyny: Links With Psychosocial and Relational Functioning and Political Behavior by Adrian J. Dehlin (2019)